Hector, Happiness, and You

So, stepping my feet to 2017 and this holiday has made me... emotionally mixed up.

let's call it, in a good way.

It's a rainy evening at my hometown and I've just finished watching this movie, "Hector and The Search for Happiness". I got the recommendation from a close friend. After some chit chat, he said that I'm sort of like Hector, a daydreamer wishing to have courage to step out of the comfort zone. I wouldn't blame his judgement tho, he was right... But it never is that simple.

image source: google.com

Let me put it this way, I'm on the point of life where decision making is pretty crucial. But instead of deciding, I constantly look for a way out but never know exactly where to go. Avoiding unhappiness by pretending to be happy, keep telling myself that I'm pursuing a goal yet what I'm actually doing is to find an escape. Trying to be logical when sometimes I'm just being ignorant, and stay right there... in a same pattern. I hide myself in bedroom, walk outside with the mask on, keep myself busy, until I find another excuse to go away. Another exit door.

I pretend life is simple when it's actually not. And when it got so complicated that it's out of control, I fled. I just did.

The worst part is, I enjoy being this confused, because the idea of happiness scares me. But at the same time, I know my mind won't stop searching until I find the answer: happiness itself.

So, what takes a person to be happy? What takes me... to be happy?

Hector was lucky enough to make his journey (I know, he's a fictional character but let's pretend he's not, shall we? :))) and write the list of happiness out of it.

I'll try to make my own, based on the revelation out of this holiday. So I'll always remember how important it is to (always try to) be happy.

Ok so... Cindy's List of Happiness!

1. Watching how miraculous a birth of a new life can be.

Watching how happy my sister is to become a mother. Watching my parents work together as partners to achieve "this year's coolest grandparents" award!

Watching how the presence of my baby niece gives my home a chance to finally feels like, home.

2. Taking your time to new places to give yourself new perspectives.

I must say, not all the new experiences are nice. But the happiness comes from the consciousness of your senses to perceive new things to learn.

3. Realizing how far you've gone by learning that you still have to go further.

4. Finding a match between your feeling, the view, the weather, and the taste of coffee you chose.

5. Learning that, sometimes, you did enough and you deserve a break.

6. Being able to smile above all the efforts from the people who try to bring you down.

7. Appreciate and to be appreciated.

8. Meeting new people and reuniting with the close ones. Witnessing how life changes when at the same time, it's still the same.

9. Covering up the skin. Less revealing your being... Hoping to be a better person, in shaa Allah.

and

10. Knowing that soon enough, I'll be seeing your face again.

Well, beside many of the humanity and moral values he got from the journey, Hector finally found out that Clara played the most important part. Yes, the couple had their issues, but it turned out that his so-called-boring girlfriend was his main reason to be happy. It's funny how a human could give such an impact to another human, isn't it?

I guess we've been designed that way. Humans. The more we deny the truth that we need somebody else, the more we realize that we actually do.

So, ehm. You.

The brilliant, unpredictable, quiet, and kind hearted creature, you. Who would've guessed that I'd think about you this much? Funny, when I think about happiness, I see your face. I'm not being melodramatic here, it's just the way it is.
Nothing more, nothing less. No drama as always.

I feel complete when you're around. We often barely got words to say but the silence were somehow comforting. How we appreciate each other, we appreciate our privacy therefore our differences... I've learned a lot and I'd love to learn more. 

That is how I respect you.

Knocking on your door is one of the best moments I could recall. To guess what will happen next after you open it. Will I get a smile or will I get a frown? Will you tell a joke or will you just hosting me there quietly? Will you open yourself up or will you just left me wondering?

Will you always be the riddle... my riddle to solve?

Because I love the way you soften your sharp eyes everytime you look at me.

The thought of me having a capacity to make you happy, makes me happy. Makes me wanna stay. No more running. And I'd love to make you laugh out of speechlessness because of my stupidity all over again.

You help me to see happiness as an obligation, rather than as a right.

Hector: I can't wait to tell my patients. 

Old Monk: Tell them what?

Hector: We all, all of us, have the capacity to be happy.

Old Monk: Higher than that, Hector.

Hector: We all have a right to be happy?

Hector: ... I see.

Hector: 

image source: google.com

Yes, knocking on your door will always be one of my favorite moments.

Those few exciting seconds, waiting to finally see my happiness,

appears from behind the door.

image source: google.com